Dear Critters,

Today I must share with you the story behind one of the most extraordinary critter encounters I have ever experienced.

“Make a wish,” I invited my dive buddy Ruth as we entered the waters of Blairgowrie Pier once again with our cameras in tow. “Seahorses,” she replied, and we both laughed; her wish for all of our most recent dives had been the same. “What about you?”

“Giant cuttlefish,” I returned without hesitation. A few months ago, Spunky Abe and I had driven 15 hours to South Australia to observe the annual mating aggregation of thousands of these awe-inspiring creatures in the shallow waters of Whyalla. I was delighted to have come home to some unexpected sightings of the same animals at one of my favourite local dive sites.

Within moments, Ruth had found not one seahorse but two nestled in amongst the bubble weed: a tiny male short head hippocampus with a large, pregnant belly, and a most unusual animal that either through birth defect, accident or run-in with a predator had no face whatsoever below its eyes.

I wondered how the tiny creature could look so happy and healthy and how it kept itself alive without the usual long seahorse snout. How had it managed to sustain its life with such a dramatic disability? Enthralled by the chance to photograph these two distinctive seahorses separately and huddling together, I was surprised when Ruth tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to my left.

The few cuttlefish I have seen previously at this dive site had been quite difficult to detect, camouflaging themselves as a rock near the base of a pylon or nestling in amongst the weeds, texturing and recolouring their skin to blend into the sea bed. But this normally elusive animal that I had wished for at the start of the dive now approached me boldly from behind, then swam around to the other side of the seahorses I was photographing, watching me intently. “Please come with me,” he whispered, and I followed without hesitation.

We swam together for ten minutes, gliding side by side like old friends through the cold water, bathing in the bliss of the moment and the intensity of our unforeseen connection. Several times, the cuttle turned towards me, and sometimes he drew closer to my body as we swam together as though fearful that I might disappear. His eyes spoke volumes as they looked into mine, his unspoken words seemed filled with the most profound empathy.

But why had this animal done the unthinkable, choosing and approaching me to swim with it along the pier pylons, then out across the sand to rest in the sanctuary of the seagrass? The tell-tale signs of the cuttle’s pale head, the withering tentacles gathered close into its body, the thread of decay unravelling upon its forehead and the small eruptions on its back revealed the terrible and wondrous truth. This gorgeous giant cuttlefish was dying.

I had discovered on my recent expedition to the cuttle aggregation in Whyalla that after mating, the bodies of these majestic animals literally begin to disintegrate. And as they enter this final stage of their lives, they often seek the company of another animal that is also dying, staying in close proximity to provide each other with comfort and protection. I had spent much time in Whyalla filming and photographing one particular pair of cuttles in their waning hours, waiting for the inevitable end to come for them both.

Only a week ago, my buddy LP and I had come across the sorrowful carcass of a giant cuttlefish floating on the surface as we entered the water of the same pier I was diving today. We knew from the extensive disintegration that it had recently mated, and that its mate would soon meet the same fate if it had not done so already.

And yet the question remained. Why had today’s cuttlefish, a creature that would not normally seek out human company, appeared from nowhere behind me and invited me to accompany it for such a peaceful and seemingly purposeful swim? My buddy Ruth had followed us, and several times I had signalled to her to move closer to the animal to take photos. But each time the cuttle would move closer to me as though somehow we were uniquely connected, as though I would understand my role to be its protector.

This giant cuttlefish could not possibly have known that one year ago my oncologist had given me a prognosis of six to twelve months to live. There is no way it could have understood that I too had faced the slow deterioration of my own body and been forced to accept the inevitability of death. And while it had chosen me as its companion and protector during the final stage of its life, my focus as we swam together was not on death at all but on the absolute bliss of the exquisite, unparalleled here and now. How utterly joyous to glide beside this creature, both of us still vibrantly alive in the face of impending death.

“Come rest with me in the sea grass,” he whispered, nestling down as the texture of his back utterly transformed to hide in amongst the weed, wondering why I did not camouflage myself the same way. “Please stay with me until death comes for us both.” And the heart within me was wrenched by the choice – to stay beside my precious new friend until the last breath of air had been consumed from my tank and we slowly dissolved together? Or to follow my buddy Ruth back into the shallows, across the shore and back into a life of every moment lived as though death might never come.

Photo of PT and cuttlefish courtesy of Ruth Betteridge

“Stay with me,” the cuttlefish implored, and for just a few moments I allowed Ruth to swim alone in the opposite direction, leaving me alone with the dying cuttlefish. “I can’t,” I sighed wistfully, consumed by revelation. “No matter what the doctors may have said, this is not my time.” But I promised to keep my companion alive in my memory for as long as I have breath.

Reluctantly, I left the cuttle who had chosen me to stay with him until death, seeing Ruth safely back to the shallows where countless days of life await my resolve to live them to the full. No, my dear friend, I am not you today. I am more like the feisty little seahorse missing its snout, determined to survive against all odds. I’ve heard it said that time spent underwater is not held against the time you have left on land, so lately I’ve been following my doctors’ orders to the fullest extent and doing what makes me feel most alive. I like to think that I have many more dives in me yet, but when my time does eventually come, this one will sparkle in my memory more brightly than most.

Here are a few more of my cuttlefish videos that you may enjoy :-)

Love and bubbles,
PT xxx

Photo of PT and another giant cuttlefish 2 weeks earlier courtesy of Geoffrey Van Damme

ps Tanks so much for sharing this underwater adventure with me. While you are here, please check out some more of my ‘Scuba Vs Tumour’ underwater adventures

pps And don’t forget to follow Pink Tank Scuba on Facebook, YouTube and Instragram … and subscribe to this blog by email for updates direct to your inbox :-)

Dear Critters,

Have you ever added something extraordinary to your Bucket List, only to cross it off 24 hours later?

A buzz went through the Beqa Lagoon Resort dining room. ‘Have you seen Andy’s video from earlier today? You just HAVE to see it.’ I dropped my fork across my unfinished eggplant parimigana and made my way over to Andy’s table where he sat editing some remarkable footage. ‘Hi, I’m PT,’ I introduced myself, ‘Can I please see what you filmed today?’ What I saw left me absolutely gobsmacked. (Andy was kind enough to let me share his video on the Pink Tank Scuba Facebook page – it is well worth watching if you have not seen it already.)

I had made my return trip to Fiji a few days earlier to cross reuniting with a gorgeous couple from New York and diving with tiger sharks off my Bucket List. But suddenly, seeing this enormous pair of Spanish Dancers with my own eyes danced straight to the top of my ‘Must Do Before I Die’ agenda. I abandoned my unfinished lunch and raced to the dive shop. ‘Can we please dive at Pearl Rock tomorrow? I HAVE to see those nudis!’

I have been photographing nudibranchs (aka decorative sea slugs, which are MUCH more exciting than they sound!) for the past five years (there’s an extensive gallery of my images featuring 70+ types of these exquisite creatures HERE). Normally they range from just a few mm to around 5 cms in length. Once in the Philippines I had found a large, gold nocturnal nudibranch the size of a dinner plate, but never before had I even heard of nudis over 45 cm in length! And to learn there was a mating pair just a half hour boat ride from where we were staying was absolutely irresistible.

The next morning, a small group of us headed out to Pearl Rock, including myself, Spunky Abe and our new friends Robert, Rich and Laura. While the dive briefing on the boat made mention of much of the sea life we were likely to encounter, in our hearts we were on a mission to find one type of critter only. Upon entering the water, I quickly navigated to a rock wall reminiscent of the one I had seen in Andy’s video, drawn like a moth to the underwater flame of the fiery gills of the enormous Spanish Dancers.

In order to show how unbelievably big these nudibranchs are, we took turns posing with them, and Robert removed a fin to provide a visual comparison. (Which is just as well, really. As soon as I posted these images on Facebook, I was met with incredulous cries of ‘Photoshop!’ as more than 75,000 people viewed and circulated these images in disbelief in less than twenty four hours.)

We even managed to find the enormous pink egg ribbon produced by this mating pair that will lead to the next generation of giant Spanish Dancers at this dive site.

Yet even I found myself in disbelief about one aspect of this incredible underwater adventure. Sadly, I have video (much like Andy’s) of one of these magnificent Spanish Dancers in flight, dancing through the water in spectacular fashion. However, I will never share it due to the way in which that breath-taking movement was achieved. At this point I must be crystal clear about a matter of grave importance. It is never, ever acceptable for a Dive Master to physically manipulate marine animals for visual effect, to transport them to photographers, to relocate them to more photogenic positions or to frighten or coerce them into movement for cameras. Handling marine animals in this way can cause them tremendous harm and make them vulnerable to predators and potentially reduce their lifespans. Thankfully, the Dive Master seemed genuinely receptive to our concerns when we expressed them on the boat, and the manager of the resort was proactive in saying that he did not approve of such behaviour and would ensure that such manhandling by members of his staff would not happen again.

This image is provided purely as evidence of universally unacceptable behaviour (which unfortunately is common throughout the world where Dive Master training has not included a focus on custodianship of the critters that divers have come to see). I have seen some real travesties first hand and via other divers’  videos that show unjustified handling of marine critters by so-called ‘dive professionals’ who should definitely know much better. There must be a much higher standard for more responsible training of dive staff to adopt a ‘hands off’ approach to demonstrating the underwater world, with warnings and sanctions issued to those who do not operate by this standard. That said, I left Beqa Lagoon Resort with every confidence that this would not be an issue at this resort in the future, and that the management and dive staff there are genuinely committed to the well being of the marine animals that they are in the perfect position to be wise custodians of.

As someone who has received an undesirable cancer prognosis, living my way through my Bucket List brings me unspeakable joy. To add ‘Spanish Dancers’ to that list and to be able to cross them off almost immediately during the same trip was an immeasurable delight! For anyone obsessed with nudibranchs, this is a ‘Must Do’ encounter. And for anyone who has not yet discovered the blissful world of nudibranchs, please check out my Nudibranch Gallery on this blog for a small glimpse of what you have been missing out on!

Stay tuned for more of my recent underwater adventures in Fiji (those stunning tiger sharks are DEFINITELY not to be missed! ;-) )

Love and bubbles,

PT xxx

ps Tanks so much for reading this post. Please check out a few more of my ‘Scuba Vs Tumour’ Underwater adventures while you’re here :-)

pps And don’t forget to subscribe to this blog by email for all new posts to be delivered DIRECTLY to your inbox!

ppps And please follow Pink Tank Scuba on Facebook and Instagram if you haven’t already! :-) :-) :-)

Dear Critters,

Have you ever been to a spider crab disco? It’s both exciting and hilarious!  Thousands of eager crabs line up in anticipation outside the disco door, with bouncers to make sure everyone stays civilised. When the door opens, the impatient crowd climb over each other to get in, ready for some insane dance floor action. Sure there are a few wallflowers quietly watching on, but most of these crazy crabs are here to get their groove on, and some even glam up for the occasion!

When the beat drops, the spider crabs bust out their coolest moves in every style you can imagine. Moshing, line dancing, break dancing, moon walking, crowd surfing, tragic 80s moves … I even saw one doing the Michael Jackson ‘Thriller’ dance! Some have loads of style, strutting their stuff til they trip over their own feet, taking others down with them!

At one point, a large yellow seahorse impressed the crowd with an elegant solo waltz, and a banjo shark owned the dance floor, gliding through the crabby crowd. Honestly, they were all having such a great time, I just couldn’t help myself – I had to pass my camera to my buddy LP so I could join in for a little underwater, tongue-poking boogie of my own.

In the end, the dancing crabs partied for endless hours under a gorgeous sea jelly disco ball. I hope you enjoy this fun video of the recent spider crab disco at Rye Pier during the annual migration of 2014 as much as I enjoyed making it!

Love and bubbles,
PT xxx

ps my friend paparazzibob told me he went to a spider crab disco once – he was having an awesome time, but then he pulled a mussel! Hilarious! :-P

Dear Critters,

Call me crazy, but last month I literally spent 8 days under water in Sabang Beach, Puerto Galera in the Philippines. I did 3-5 dives each day (31 in total), and despite the valet diving at Atlantis Dive Resort, there were times when I totally crashed face down unexpectedly amidst the typical sleep-eat-dive-dive-eat-dive-dive-dive-eat-sleep cycle. Sometimes my body has trouble keeping pace with my spirit but to be honest that has never stopped me from trying

It was so exciting to return to the Philippines after my solo expedition two years ago, this time with my darling Abe and our dearest dive buddies LP and Julie Bear for company.

And as always on holidays, my heart goes out to any strangers I see taking photos of each other against some exotic backdrop, rather than having their photo taken together. Everywhere I go, I see people in this situation and I quickly volunteer to take their photo for them. Usually, the strangers disappear from my life as quickly as they came, with only the photo on their camera as proof that our paths ever crossed.

However on this trip, the couple I randomly offered to photograph proved to be the delightful Susan (above in purple) and Richard (in blue) who quickly expanded our little dive group of four to six. Here’s the picture I took of them on their camera to introduce myself:

 How wonderful to make new friends on holidays, and how proud I was of Susan for doing her Advanced Open Water course and to Julie Bear, LP, Richard and Susan for all completing their Nitrox course. Here we all are in the picture at the top celebrating their achievements, along with Dive Master Norm (in the red shirt) and videographer Rob (standing beside me in the back row) who took some amazing professional video of our dives for us!

I love travelling and diving. I adore the feeling of gliding through the salt water to encounter all the amazing creatures that inhabit the ocean. I love the feeling that each minute under water is healing my body and nourishing my soul. But there is something absolutely priceless about the social aspect of meeting new people who share the same passion. Long after the salt water has dried from your skin, the friends you have made leave a smile on your face, along with the hope that one day you might meet again to share another underwater adventure

Love and Bubbles,

PT xxx

Dear Critters,

Today, I wore the pearls I bought on my dive trip to the Philippines  last month as a Mother’s Day gift for my step-mother. (It wasn’t so much that I couldn’t bear to part with them, but I discovered that she already has an expensive set, and I figured that receiving these as a gift from me would have been a huge step down from the strand she already has …)

The street vendor had been insistent and, to be honest, I wasn’t especially keen. But my disinterest only fuelled his determination and somehow as he shadowed me along the narrow, cobbled streets of Puerto Galera, we managed to agree on a price. Besides, the necklace, bracelet and earring set was pink, and like me, pearls have a strong affinity with the ocean, making the purchase from the desperate street-seller all the more difficult to refuse.

So today after managing to pull myself out of bed at 10am, I donned my new set of pearls for the first time. Lately I have found mornings to be more difficult than I would have liked. Until recently, I have been travelling fairly well with my health, refusing radiation and chemotherapy and relying on organic food, carrot juice and as much diving as my body can handle to get my health back on track.  I have also reduced stress in my life by arranging with my employer to work part-time.

Like scuba diving, work has always been a passion for me, but after being diagnosed with cancer – again – last year, I have needed to make regaining and sustaining my health a top priority. After many months away last year, returning to work has felt like a slow restoration of my soul. Some days I would love nothing more than to return to work full-time; other days, I struggle and wonder whether I have truly taken on too much too soon.

This morning I felt very unwell, but that string of pearls around my neck somehow made me feel ready to face the world. And all day my colleagues went out of their way to comment on how well I looked! They usually do when I wear pink, which to be honest is more often than not. Cancer is a strange illness. Most days, if I didn’t tell anyone, I’m sure those whose paths I cross would never know what my journey has been and continues to be. But a tumour grows slowly inside the body, hidden like a pearl still growing inside its shell.

That may seem a strange comparison – comparing a tumour to a pearl. But in reality, I have learned some valuable lessons from my illness over the past four years that I could never have learned any other way. There has been much suffering, but pearls are the result of irritation and gold is refined by fire. I firmly believe that the changes I have made in my life can help me to reclaim my health, and that every day will yield its pearl of wisdom to those who are willing to learn from it rather than succumb.

So today I dragged myself from my bed and fastened a cheap string of pink pearls around my neck, ready to face whatever the day would bring. I am learning to take one day at a time. And I am slowly coming to understand that each day is a pearl that I must wear with love and gratitude, whatever challenges may come. To me, every pearl is a blessing that I must remember to count.

Love and bubbles,
PT xxx

Dear Critters,

My name is PT and I am a Diveaholic. It has been 24 days since my last dive in the warm waters of the Philippines. This morning I finally had the long-awaited chance to re-enter the cold but very familiar waters of Melbourne, Australia. Most weekends when conditions permit, my buddies and I dive one of five piers – Blairgowrie, Rye, Mornington, Portsea or Flinders. When rumour circulated that a 4ft draughtboard shark had been spotted yesterday at Flinders, the decision was a very easy one. While sharks are rarely seen at our local dive sites, I absolutely adore them.

Whenever I approach any critter underwater, I usually ask it if it is ready for its closeup. Weedy sea dragons are endemic to Flinders and, despite divers coming from all over the world to photograph them, many are camera shy. Some are a little more curious and are quite happy to let you take a few photos. But within seconds I knew that the dragon suspended in the water column before me was different. Instead of asking if it was ready for its closeup, I asked if it would like to dance, and we danced forever until my best buddy LP signalled that he knew exactly where to find the elusive draughtboard shark.

When you are a marine animal, anything that shows interest in you is usually a predator, so when something larger than yourself approaches, you are probably going to swim away as fast as your fins can carry you. It takes a lot of love and time to convince a critter that you pose no threat, and if you are patient enough to help it understand this fact, it may begin to see you as an ally.

At first, the small shark wondered if I could truly see its mottled form camouflaged in the thick bed of weeds. And though it seemed ready for its close up, alas it was not ready to dance and, not quite knowing whether I was truly friend or foe, it followed instinct and swam away. Moments later, a large piece of fish flesh on the end of a shiny hook fell close to the spot where the shark had been resting, and I was grateful that it had not stayed near to take the deadly bait. Sadly, its instincts were almost correct – humans are indeed the world’s most deadly predators.

This is the world that I choose to inhabit in my wandering thoughts awake and in the stirring dreams of sleep. It is filled with dancing dragons and gentle sharks that are sweeter than candy, kept eternally safe from human harm. Sometimes we do little more than glance, and sometimes we forget the world and dance. I hope you enjoy this video!

Love and bubbles,

PT xxx

Dear Critters,

Ok – so it wasn’t actually a shark …(but if you are here to see sharks, please watch some of my other sharkey encounters with Great Whites and Tiger Sharks through to draughtboard sharks and everything in between on under the ‘Video’ tab on this blog! Crazy cool!)

I was almost too busy in the fullness of life to remember that today is the first anniversary of my second major surgery to remove a large tumour from my abdomen. Two years earlier, although I was officially ‘too young’ to be diagnosed with endometrial cancer, I’d been given a radical hysterectomy in the hopes that this might help me to reclaim my health. Yet here I was again, my world utterly disrupted, waiting in a flimsy white gown and cap on a cold hospital gurney, ready for more life changing surgery. With recurrent Stage 3C cancer, the prognosis is even more dire and for this surgery, the stakes were higher.

365 days can turn the deepest trauma into a merciful blur. So today I trawled through all I had written to help myself process everything before, during, and in the aftermath of that nightmarish three weeks in hospital, seeking to connect the ethereal dots between where I had been and how far I had come. Through the time-worn echoes of my own words, I relived my conflicted decision to reject chemotherapy and radiation, the intense physical post-surgery pain, and the indignity of being showered by nurses because I could do absolutely nothing for myself. I braced myself through the memory of emergency surgery six days later after my bowel ruptured violently in the night. I woke from anaesthetic to find a loathsome ileostomy, too close to forty-eight staples along my mid-line abdominal wound for any healing to occur. Nothing in my life has ever traumatised me more. A large incisional hernia remains to this day.

Intensive Care and High Dependency Units. Twenty-two days in a private hospital that my insurance wouldn’t cover – $20,000 out of pocket. Catheters and drain tubes. Blood transfusions. Six weeks unable to eat; being fed through a pick-line in an artery in my shoulder. Attached around the clock to negative pressure machines that never helped my wounds to heal. Multiple blood clots in both lungs; weeks of Clexane injections; months of the nightmare drug Warfarin.  Surgical menopause. Hypotension. Over 160 days across four hospitals, either admitted, in Emergency for chronic adhesion pain or attending for intensive wound management almost every day for five months. Five general anaesthetics and three major surgeries in less than eight months. In one 25 hour period, I was admitted five times across three hospitals.

Still swirling in the blur: clinics and pathology centres. X-Rays, CTs, PET scans, GFRs, MRIs, INRs, colonoscopies, gastroscopies, diagnostic enemas, cardiograms, chemo education sessions, radiotherapy tattooing and planning meetings, endless meetings with GPs, surgeons, haematologists, oncologists, wound specialists, physiotherapists, stomal nurses, chaplains, psychologists, psychiatrists, nutritionists, hospital administrators … (have I left anyone or anything out???)

And yet here I sit one year on – reflecting, writing, living. And though I am eternally grateful that my wounds have finally healed and that the dreaded ileostomy was reversed five months ago, I am not yet cancer-free. At last diagnosis, I still had one inoperable lymph node tumour, and according to my oncologist, my prognosis without the treatment I ultimately refused is bleak. But today I am celebrating a significantly greater quality of life than I could possibly have imagined a year ago today. I take full responsibility for my health and I work hard at getting myself well. I am able to work part-time and I dive as often as I can, believing with all my heart that a steady course of nutrition, ocean therapy and laughter can help me to regain and sustain my health.

Yet despite what any kind strangers may tell me, I am neither strong nor inspirational. Every ounce of strength I have, I have drawn from my faith in God and from those in my life who cared enough to step up and be there for me. My beautiful family and friends were an incredible support network for me, and without them I would surely now be dust, scattered and swept away beneath some local pier. Instead, they got me back on my feet and back into my beloved ocean which they knew would help me to heal. Even though I was still in significant pain, they even got me snow skiing for the first (and last!) time in my life not long after leaving hospital, still attached to a negative pressure machine under that big jacket:

The battle is truly won or lost in the mind, and these are the Earth Angels who helped to keep me sane. My darling Abe, my father Kirby, my buddy LP and my chaplain Peter – these were my four pillars of wisdom, encouragement and strength as I navigated the most difficult times of my life. My precious family and friends: Stacey, Linda, Nancy, Nathan, Mary, Joe, Stephen, Kevin, Mini, Bonnie, Bec, J-Lo, Julie, Kay-Ta, Pat, Leigh, Nicole, Bonnie, Susie, Jill, Sharon, Annie and David! The way these precious souls gathered around me on my long, slow journey to recovery can never be fully explained or repaid. And while I have been through much and still face a long journey ahead, there are others who face even greater challenges than mine and my heart goes out fully on their journeys. I hope that I can find some way to be a source of strength and encouragement to them.

One year on and soon to celebrate my 250th dive, I give thanks for every breath and every moment, every ray of sun that kisses my cheek and every salty drop of ocean that baptises me into my new life of hard-earned wisdom and gratitude. And while time may help the trauma to fade, those scars are there to remind me of all that I have endured and survived. May I never forget those who have given me the kindness, mercy and strength to face the many challenges along the continuing journey. To them, I credit the year that has passed and dedicate the years to come. Put simply, joy abounds.

Today, my heart nearly bursts with all the love and bubbles,
PT xxx

ps Just to be totally clear … I have dived with many types of shark, including great whites, bull sharks, tiger sharks, lemon sharks, nurse sharks, grey nurse sharks, leopard sharks, wobbegongs, swell sharks, reef sharks and more, but I have NEVER been attacked by one. To me, sharks are beautiful, and I would dive with them every day of my life if I had the chance … but hey, I still think it would be hilarious if I went out and bought a pair of those crazy new ‘shark bite’ bathers  :-P

Dear Critters,

For me, every dive is a milestone. One year ago today, I was in hospital during an agonising three week stint; I had just been moved from the Intensive Care Unit after two major surgeries in less than a week. I was connected to morphine, drips and all manner of drains, and I refused to even look at the two dozen staples down my abdominal mid-line and the infected, gaping wounds between them. (Actually, I didn’t muster the courage to sneak a peak until a month after I got home … those wounds took over five months to heal…)

Yesterday, I celebrated Dive 250 – on the first day of winter! Usually the carpark of Blairgowrie Pier is crowded with divers, but my best buddy LP and I had the pier all to ourselves – and with good reason … the water was 14 degrees celcius (57 Farenheit)! When I confess that I don’t yet own a drysuit, you will understand that this was a pain entirely self-inflicted.

To be honest, the visibility wasn’t great and there wasn’t a lot to see: a few small fish, a couple of nudibranchs and a very small stingray right at the end of the dive. Even so, a cold dive for 70 mins will always be more fun than five minutes on land (or three excruciating weeks in hospital!)

After being thoroughly dive-deprived for the last two weekends, even a dive without any spectacular photos or video feels like heaven on earth to me. Every breath – whether on land or underwater – is definitely a gift to be celebrated!

Love and bubbles,

PT xxx

Dear Critters,

Did you ever get the feeling that you weren’t quite where you were meant to be?

A lot of people like to go to the beach, but to me it just seems totally unnatural to sit on sand!

I need to be in the water, under that pier.

Come on, Pink Tank – let’s go diving!

Love and bubbles,

PT xxx

Dear Critters,

Today I dived with my best buddy LP for our final chance to say goodbye to all of the lovely crabs that had survived the annual migration to Rye Pier; they are now headed back out to deeper parts of the bay where they will hibernate under the sand for up to 8 months.

It was also my first ever experience of diving in a drysuit which I borrowed from the lovely Julie Bear. I stayed nice and dry until right towards the end of the 90 minute dive, when I felt water seeping right through and saturating me down to the core! Still, I am inspired to keep experimenting with drysuits now that winter has arrived (11 degrees Celcius is brrrrrrrr!), and I will trial two more models next weekend (in a drysuit, the water doesn’t seep through onto your skin … unless you are me today :-P)

Although I still have video from yesterday and today’s dive to edit and share with you, here are my final photos from this year’s migration. I hope you enjoy them. I know a lot of people might think I’m a bit crazy for getting so up-close-and-personal with these critters, but they are gentle little souls who would never hurt a human. I wish them much love and luck on their journey. Maybe we will get to see them again next year

Love and bubbles,

PT xxx

ps Big tanks to LP for kindly taking the photos that I am in!

Dear Critters – this article was originally published in Dive Log Australasia magazine (June 2016 edition)

Recently I celebrated my Dive 500, which qualifies me as something of a newcomer to the world of scuba. In view of the fact that all but my very first Discover Scuba 15 years ago were done as a cancer patient (and that the last 145 dives were done with a terminal prognosis hanging over my head), every minor milestone becomes a major cause for celebration in my bubble-blowing life. Like most divers who discovered this glorious past-time later in their lives, I lament the fact that I did not start diving much earlier in my life.

Shortly after I completed my Open Water course at Hideaway Island in Vanuatu in 2010, I was diagnosed for the first time with advanced endometrial cancer (aka uterine cancer, or cancer of the uterus). Following major surgery and serious post-surgical complications, I spent the next ten months daydreaming about my return to the water. My passion to continue the underwater adventures I had just begun was my greatest incentive for recovery.

I was elated to celebrate my 100th dive during an impromptu expedition to join a 10 day underwater photography workshop in Anilao in the Philippines during 2012. In lieu of the fabled Dive 100 Nudie Dive, I opted for a Nudi Hunting night dive at a site called Sunview, dedicating the dive to honour the late Neville Colman who had passed away several days before I commenced my trip. Upon returning to the Crystal Blue Resort after the dive, I was delighted to be presented with a scuba-themed congratulations cake to mark the occasion. I was thrilled to share the sweet treat with my new buddies, along with the significance of this milestone in the light of the recent challenges I had been facing with my health.

But not long after this trip, I learned that the cancer had returned with a vengeance, and I spent more than 160 days of 2013 in or at hospital, including three major surgeries. I was devastated to think I might never be well enough to dive again. While I was unable to dive for most of the year, I returned to the water as quickly as humanly possible. I surprised myself and my surgical team by completing my Dive 200 at Boarfish Reef with a loathsome temporary ileostomy bag (through which part of my bowel protruded outside my body for seven months) hidden snugly beneath my wetsuit.

By September of 2014 and with only 265 dives under my weight belt, I was advised that despite the best efforts of my surgical team, the cancer had returned and spread and my condition was now considered incurable and terminal. Without palliative radiation, I would most likely have only 6-12 months to live. I promptly retired from my hard-earned career in education, completing a four month course of high dosage radiotherapy in December of 2014.

This treatment shrunk the largest tumour of several tumours from grapefruit to golfball size, potentially buying me another few years of life. My oncology team advised that now was the perfect time to give up my hard-earned career and to cross as much as I could manage from my Bucket List. So during breaks in my treatment, I managed to dive with manta rays at North Stradbroke Island and great white sharks out of Port Lincoln with Rodney Fox Expeditions. And I celebrated the end of my treatment with Dive 300 at the Uepi Island Resort in the Solomon Islands in January of 2015.

Being diagnosed with terminal cancer felt less like a death sentence and more like a wake-up call to begin living my life more fully. For me, that equated to spending as much time underwater as possible and indulging my passion for underwater photography and videography. In September 2015 I embarked upon my second trip to Fiji, literally coming a whisker away from a curious and heavily pregnant 14ft tiger shark for an exhilarating Dive 400. But each time I crossed something big from my Bucket List, I replaced it with something even bigger. (Apparently, there’s no way you can ‘kick the bucket’ while there’s still good stuff hiding in there! Diving with whale sharks is definitely next on my list!)

Fastforward to April 2016. Although I had already booked my first trip to Tulamben in Bali, Indonesia in anticipation of my monumental Dive 500 in May, by this stage I had become truly addicted to long shore dives several times a week (anything up to 4.5 hrs per 12 ltr tank). Slowing my dive frequency down to save another milestone for another tropical island was simply not an option.

Thankfully, my friend Luke English (owner of Melbourne’s outstanding new dive operator RedBoats) offered to host my Dive 500. This enabled me to share this special occasion with a private group of some of my favourite local dive buddies. This was a truly epic milestone in my life and confirmed my capacity to outlive and outdive my prognosis.

I’ve heard it said that ‘The time we spend underwater is not counted against the time we have left on land’, and I am guided by the wisdom to ‘Live Every Day as Though You Might Dive’. The first 500 dives have been such a wild ride, and each one of them was a milestone in its own right. Diving has taken me to places beyond my wildest dreams, and I am beyond excited to see where the next 500 dives might take me (and to continue to share those adventures with you!)

Love and bubbles,
PT Hirschfield xxx

ps Full tanks to all of the amazing photographers who have allowed me to share their images of me in the gallery below xxx

Dear Critters,

I hope you enjoy this gallery of images from my recent ‘Scuba Vs Tumour’ adventure in Bali, Indonesia. Please scroll down for my article on this trip and stay tuned for AMAZING video footage of me playing with a train of 8 mantas doing their extraordinary mating rituals (to be added to this post upon completion)!

Love and bubbles,

PT Hirschfield xxx

The following article appeared in Dive Log Australasia, July 2016:

Dear Critters,

I have a confession to make. As much as I love diving several times a week in water so cold I can barely feel my legs, travelling to Bali in May for some tropical therapy was more temptation than my frozen toes could resist. Besides, over the last few years, my beloved Spunky Abe appears to have become a Warm Water Princess, denouncing Melbourne diving and declining any location that requires more than a 5mm.

So lured by warm water, promises of wrecks for him and the possibility of mantas for me, we joined a group tour of the hallmark dive sites of Tulamben, Nusa Lembongan and Nusa Penida (full tanks to Sharene of Daktari Surf and Dive and Agung of Bali Diventure who expertly managed every aspect of this trip).

As has become typical of our dive holidays, I indulged my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Diving), enjoying sixteen dives across seven days, though if there had been five dives a day on offer, I would gladly have taken them all. (Meanwhile Abe swapped several dives for cold Bintangs and long massages on the beach.)

Our first few dives were spent weaving through the endless labyrinth of bubbles and fins at the ever-popular Liberty wreck which easily hosted 100 divers at a time, though fewer before sunrise and after sunset than in the bright light of day.

Highlights at the Liberty wreck included the brightest pink leaf scorpionfish, a huge moray eel hunting at night and gentle interactions with enormous bump head parrotfish that come up from the deep to the wreck as the water darkens. I also spotted a large spanish dancer with its enormous pink egg ribbon close by, along with a rainbow’s spectrum of leaf scorpionfish, though I cannot tell you how disappointed I was to have missed the mimic octopus sighted by others, putting on quite a show by all accounts.

More exciting for me than the wreck itself were the unmissable Coral Gardens accessible by shore (though a substantial swim) from the same entry point. Several years earlier at the Ocean Film Festival, I had been enthralled by an outstanding short film called ‘The Coral Gardener’ featuring the impassioned work of Austin Bowden-Kerby and his success with growing corals in Fiji. The Coral Gardens of Tulamben are reminiscent of the awe-inspiring images I had seen in this film, offering a myriad of infant and intermediate corals growing on all manner of structures.

New corals stem like flowers from collections of beer bottles, adorn tall wire pyramids and many other innovative brick and wire bases, each one uniquely demonstrating Bali’s typical artisan flair. The grand finale of this site boasts an impressive and inspiring collection of large underwater statues and temples, paying homage to Balinese culture and inviting endless photographic opportunities.

There is a similar though less impressive set of statues near the Japanese Wreck at Ahmed, though for me the absolute highlight in this region are the Underwater Pyramids. This dive commences against the stunning backdrop of the Agung volcano, while thousands of garden eels greet you as you descend. Dozens of large brick pyramids rise as artificial reefs from the ocean floor, each one bejewelled with more creatures and features than could possibly be explored within a single drift dive.

After transferring from Sanur by speedboat to the island of Nusa Lembongan for the last two days of the tour, my Bucket List dream of seeing a train of mantas dancing through the water was momentarily shattered. We were advised that our much-anticipated expedition to Manta Point was unlikely to go ahead due to rough conditions.

But thankfully by the following morning, the skipper had reassessed the forecast and managed to drop us in on at least fifteen mantas, including a train of seven athletic males chasing a large pregnant female they were all striving to impress.

Their exquisite choreography, heading straight towards us and directly over our heads for the next eighty minutes, was without doubt one of the highlights of my bubble blowing life.

The thrills of Manta Point were followed by an obligatory visit to Crystal Bay with its infamous down currents and its formidable list of diver casualties and fatalities. While the site itself held little appeal for me in terms of topography and marine life, I might possibly be tempted to visit again during the forthcoming Mola Mola season. Our final double of the trip featured steady drifts off Nusa Penida at Sental and SD Point, the latter of which showcases some of the healthiest and most lush hard corals imaginable.

As I sit in my glass walled hut in Ubud looking out over a small waterfall and writing this article, I am beyond grateful for the life that I have been given to live and the underwater adventures I have been blessed to take. I look forward to my next adventure. Though I have no idea what that might be, I am open to suggestions (‘Have Fins; Will Travel’) and I look forward to sharing my experiences here with you.

Love and bubbles,
PT Hirschfield xxx

ps Please feel free to the subscribe to the Pink Tank Scuba Facebook page, Instagram, You Tube and Blog.

Dear Critters,

This week as I celebrated Dive 553, I stumbled upon several gorgeous lion’s mane sea jellies under one of my favourite local piers.

I felt very privileged to be able to share the experience with a lovely big leatherjacket fish who felt a bit peckish.

Although these images may look like Romeo and Jellyette sharing a special kiss, actually the fish was taking a nibble or two!

Although this was a morning dive, I achieved the black background by photographing the subjects against an open water background with a very fast shutter speed to block out the natural light, relying instead on my strobe flash to light up the fish and jelly.

Unlike the hungry leatherjacket, I was just happy to gaze in awe and take a selfie as the beautiful jellies floated on their blissfully merry way.

Love and bubbles,

PT Hirschfield xxx

ps Please follow more of my ‘Scuba Vs Tumour’ Underwater Adventures on Facebook, YouTube and Instagram

*** PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR IMAGES AND VIDEOS ***

Dear Critters,

Just like sharks got an eternally bad wrap when Steven Speilberg depicted them as monsters in 1975, most people now automatically associate stingrays with the death of Steve Irwin. In my experience, the huge smooth rays I dive with are gentle, curious puppies with no interest (or ability for that matter) in eating humans ‘Jaws’ style and with no instinct to attack and kill humans without provocation which may trigger their instincts of self-preservation. Like timid, reclusive blue ringed octopuses that have only ever been responsible for three fatalities in history, stingrays have been much maligned and have become the victims of global smear and fear campaigns and unjustified knee-jerk reactions. Ignorant fishermen frequently cut off their barbs and tails, throwing the mutilated animals back into the ocean or killing them without justification – what utterly cruel, irresponsible and senseless abuse of these gorgeous, essentially harmless creatures!

I dive with large smooth rays and small stingrays regularly. I find that they dislike being chased (anything that chases you in the ocean must be considered a potential predator), but are very responsive if I study their circling flight path then just calmly lie low where I know they are likely to pass. Often they glide straight over me, as if wanting to feel my air bubbles on their tummies or hoping for a feed; unfortunately some people still have not realised the dangers of ‘taming’ such wild animals and continue to hand feed them underwater or throw fish scraps to them from the surface. This can cause the animals to become dangerously trusting and to approach or become needlessly reliant on humans for food. No doubt if they approach the ‘wrong’ human, histrionic cries of ‘It attacked me!’ will resound through the media like they do against sharks (remember the Aussie surfer Mick Fanning’s sensationalised encounter with a great white?), perpetuating unfounded claims of stingray malice and calls for revenge. The reality is that stingrays do not prey on humans in any way (though one DID scare the living crapola out of me once as you can read HERE), instead preying on smaller marine creatures including my beloved spider crabs, as can be seen in these videos:

Here are some images and videos of me interacting with large stingrays, always initiated by the rays (photos courtesy of Kerry Borgula and Christopher Mark; video courtesy of Kerry Borgula and Mark Jones)

Here are some final videos I have taken featuring some beautiful stingrays, plus a majestic manta ray (without a sting) thrown in for good measure:

Finally, please enjoy this exquisite inspirational film featuring lots of gorgeous rays and other marine life by my underwater filmmaker dive buddy Mark Jones (you may even see me somewhere in the footage if you look closely enough …)

So it’s official. Rays are amazing and in writing this blog post I feel even more challenged to do whatever I can to ensure that they are safe from harm and that people are more aware of how incredible they truly are. I hope that you will join me in helping to be the human voice of marine life that cannot speak or fend for itself against human ignorance and cruelty.

For my image and video galleries of other critters, please click HERE.

To learn more about me and my ‘Scuba Vs Tumour’ adventures, please click HERE.

Plus subscribe to this blog for regular updates and follow PINK TANK SCUBA on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube!

Love and bubbles,

PT xxx

Dear Critters,

Follow Pink Tank Scuba on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.

Thank you for joining me on my ‘Scuba Vs Tumour’ adventures! I hope that you enjoy this latest cuttlefish gallery to which new photos and videos will be added frequently.  While you are here, feel free to also check out the following galleries: Latest Images, Octopus, Seahorses, Spider Crabs, Tasselled Anglerfish, Stingrays, Nudibranchs, Divers , images of me and Pink Tank Scuba in the Media, with other galleries to be added soon. Or head back to the HOME page to share many of my other ‘Scuba Vs Tumour’ underwater adventures. And please remember, cuttlefish are Friends, not Food!

Love and bubbles,

PT xxx

You can read the FULL STORY behind this Cuttles of Whyalla video HERE.

My favourite dive EVER! Check out the FULL Story behind this Long Peaceful Swim Video HERE.

Read the FULL Story behind this Cheeky Cuttlefish video HERE.

You can read the amazing FULL STORY behind this Cuttlefish Encounter video HERE.

You can read the life changing FULL STORY behind this Portsea Pier video HERE.

Dear Critters,

Follow Pink Tank Scuba on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.

Thank you for joining me on my ‘Scuba Vs Tumour’ adventures! I hope that you enjoy this latest gallery of pretty fishes to which new photos and videos will be added frequently. While you are here, feel free to also check out the following galleries: Latest Images, Cuttlefish, Octopus, Seahorses, Spider Crabs, Tasselled Anglerfish (the fish so cool, it gets its OWN gallery!), Stingrays, Nudibranchs, Divers, images of me and Pink Tank Scuba in the Media, with other galleries to be added soon. Or head back to the HOME page to share many of my other ‘Scuba Vs Tumour’ underwater galleries and stories (just click any tile to open up the adventure!) For me, fish are friends, not food – hope you enjoy my fascinating fish gallery!

Love and bubbles,

PT xxx

I don’t often talk about cancer anymore. Having been originally diagnosed in 2010, then rediagnosed in both 2013 and 2014 (when I was told I could not be cured and completed palliative radiotherapy), over time this illness has gradually faded far into the background of my thoughts. Most days I barely think of it at all.

The reality is that life is terminal and I am in no way ‘special’ or unique for the realisation that my time on earth will one day end, except that I have not been given the privilege of denial. And in all truth, that acknowledgement that life is finite has been utterly liberating. It was my greatest wake up call that every day is truly a gift and must be lived to the full.

Recently The Dodo (an online animal advocacy platform) requested to do a follow up interview of their excellent coverage of the Project Banjo #RaysAwareness Campaign that I led alongside my good friend Jacqui Younger in 2017 which resulted in better outcomes for the beautiful rays of Victoria. However The Dodo’s interviewer Ryan Barrentine revealed that he was a follower and supporter of the Pink Tank Scuba pages, and he was keen to also talk about my life, my ‘Scuba Vs Tumour’ journey and my obsession with marine life including spider crabs, octopuses and cuttlefish as well.

Despite the fact that I would much rather be behind a camera than in front of it, Ryan did an outstanding job in producing this video which is a really well balanced look at where my life is at today. The video attracted over 1.1 million views in the first 48 hours and some of the feedback has been really encouraging. I would like to especially thank film maker Mark Jones and my other dive buddies across the years whose video footage and photos of me have been featured in this video.

And even since this interview was recorded, I have reached another conclusion about my life and how I see it. I’ve decided that while I will happily acknowledge that my oncologists have told me that they cannot cure me, that is their limitation, not mine. The term ‘terminal’ no longer sits well with me (did it ever?) My time could come from any unforeseen cause at any unforeseen moment, and in all honesty I could reasonably outlive those who have given me their best guess at my inevitable cause of death. And those vultures with monstrous crimson wings that once circled ever closer over my life, shamelessly waiting to pick the meat from my bones? I have banished them forever and am determined to outlive even them.

I have loved reading some of the comments that viewers have left in response to The Dodo Interview and the messages that people have sent through. I guess in summary, what I want to say is this:

Life is short – for all of us. Find what you are meant to do with your life and live every moment fully.

Each day is a gift that should be celebrated.

Live your passion with a sense of purpose, awe and wonder.

Live as though today was your last day on earth – and as if there is literally no end in sight.

Outlive those rotten vultures; all that is good in your life belongs to you, not to them. Don’t let them steal a single thing from you – now or ever.

In four days I will celebrate two significant milestones – another birthday and my Dive 800. My heart is filled with joy and hope of more birthdays and dives to come. Watch out Dive 1000 – you are now officially on my Bucket List. Thank you so much to all who have continued to follow my adventures and who have sent me your words of encouragement both recently and across the years.. You bring incredible joy to my life.

Please feel free to explore some more of my posts, image galleries and videos while you are here (as well as visit Pink Tank Scuba on FB, Instagram and YouTube!) I look forward to sharing more of my adventures with you.

Love and bubbles always,
PT xxx